Why Feelings Are So Vital In Conversation For A Successful Relationship

“ Relationships are built on communication, plus communication is possible only when feelings are freely expressed, heard, and validated. ”
~ Dr . Matthew Jacoby , Deeper Places (2013)

RELATIONSHIPS are what create life function as it does.

At the Fall, what occurred was obviously a relational failure. The object – Adam and Eve being in charge of their own destiny – came in front of the subject: God. Every time we objectify life, devoting ourselves to elements over the people who more ought to have our time, effort, and enjoy, we sin. We put object above subject; things before people.

But if we are to reverse the tide of objectification, then we must now sow extremely heavily and deeply into every thing relational. Indeed, we cannot understand God unless we are oriented relationally. And if we have the capacity to know Lord, we have the capacity and desire to understand people – to connect and connect. When that occurs it makes so much feeling to us that the truth among people must be aired – in fact, God is the God of truth!

Feelings must be portrayed, heard, and validated for conversation to work.

A TESTIMONY OF RELATIONAL TRUTH – FEELINGS EXPRESSED, HEARD, VALIDATED

Truth is very important to human beings, whether we acknowledge it delete word. This is because we are all made in the image of the God of truth.

Whenever we consciously deny the truth it harms our conscience – get it done chronically and the conscience is seared. Being the God of truth, the LORD has designed life to operate around it. Invite truth and we invite life. But if we reduce the truth we journey along the route of death.

Emotions are what they are.

They are about as close to the truth since anything. We feel what we really feel, and, without judgment and disapproval, our feelings can help to explain a great deal of the mysteries of God – if we allow them a voice.

Can there be anything better than the particular testimony of relational truth: where feelings both raw and genuine are given flight and their natural altitude, without a ceiling being unplaned over them?

Possibly those scared most about dialectic feelings are those who worry for his or her lack of control. But this is regarding trusting God. We cannot develop in our relationships unless we are liberated to be truthful about how we really really feel.

***

They are what they are,
Let’ s accept this right now,
Feelings are feelings,
And truthful communication they’ ll endow.
If we honour others’ feelings,
Better the deeper we go,
Safety means rely on,
And relationships can simply grow.

When feelings are expressed, heard, and validated the truth that’ s communicated helps to set the relationship free.

© 2013 S. J. Wickham.

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